Thinking about it Thursday:
As Miles gets older, I find myself pondering a new question at meal times: Do I make Miles eat the same foods we are eating, do I make him a separate meal, or do I find some middle ground in there? I have some thoughts on the matter, but I am hoping that I can harness the power of my mama friends to give me your 2 cents and experiences in order for me to come up with a game plan for tackling this issue. (Note: Miles has no apparent food allergies so far and is developmentally average for height and weight, so those issues don’t apply in my particular case).
The way I see it, we have 3 options: I could make him eat whatever we are eating, I could make him a separate meal, or I could offer him what we are eating and then supplement with other options.
The Case for Making Him Eat What We Eat:
- Less cooking time (I’m a busy mom, it’s in the blog name for goodness sake!)
- More variety in food consumption (I think, if Miles got to pick, he would eat penne pasta for every meal)
- Convenience of being able to eat with friends or at school without demanding a special menu.
- Less waste (It is hard to cook one toddler sized portion of anything without wasting, even with strategic use of left overs)
The Case for Making Him a Separate Meal:
- His little developing body and mind needs nutrition, so we should get that for him however he’ll take it.
- Meal time is family time for us and I don’t want it to turn into fighting/power struggle time.
- I don’t want him to think food is the enemy.
- He has plenty of time to develop his pallet.
Finding a Middle Ground?
- I am trying to always offer him what we are eating first and then supplement with additional fruits, pastas and things he loves if he doesn’t get enough down.
- For lunch, I usually give him a toddler specific meal and then breakfast and dinner are similar to what we are eating. (Here are some of my baby and toddler meal recipes)
- I am trying to incorporate veggies in a creative way that either camouflages them or makes them appealing by dipping them in hummus or something.
- We are eating together, so he sees us eating the same food and feels like a big boy.
- I am not sure how to handle it when he flat out refuses a vegetable. (He’s one, so we can’t really have two way communication about specific veggies yet)
Help! What do you do or what did you do when you had a toddler? Did it work? Would you do it again?
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
this issue REALLY hits home for me…i WISH WISH WISH that we had DJ eat what we ate from toddlerhood…(is that a word?) we STILL make him his own meal, he’s incredibly picky, healthy, but picky…and if i tackled it and just incorporated what we ate at an early age i think it would be easier now (i’m speculating here)…when he was little if he didn’t want a pork chop i’d just make something he’d eat…you know????? it’s tough & can be embarrassing when we go to friends for dinner or cookout (or bar-b-que…wink wink) i’d do it a little differently if i did it again…
jackie recently posted..this rule is DEAD…
I totally hear what you’re saying, but I keep going back to that same old question, is this the battle I want to fight? Healthy eating is definitely on my top 10 list of things I want to teach my son, but there is more than one way to skin this rabbit. (Southenisms come out when I am tired…) He can eat separate, yet healthy meals.
This one is a totally tricky one for me. DJ is such a sweet, well-balanced kid that his picky eating is easily overlooked by his general awesomeness. I’d be pretty proud if Mies turned out like that… <3
Well, it has been quite a while since my kids were toddlers, but I would say I did the middle ground thing. I have been guilty of going through 2 drive throughs for food and I would tell my younger self not to do this again. I think that maybe offering a couple of choices of say, fruit or grains is ok, just so it isn’t an open menu.
Raquel recently posted..Decorating for Fall
Thanks! It is good to know I’m not alone in this battle.
I have one kiddo that will try anything. The other… Mr Picky personified.
I’d say to start trying him on your normal meals now. At least most of the time. If it’s something you KNOW is a battle (particularly if it’s expensive ingredients) then you can save it for at-home date night or serve him toddler friendly foods.
Vegetables and nutrition are easy to cram into muffins. I’ve got a zucchini pumpkin muffin with chocolate chips that the kids beg for. (It’s whole grain too). When mine reject dinner, it’s soooo much easier to say “OK, four more bites from your plate and you can finish with a spoonful of peanutbutter and a muffin.” I know the PB and muffin make a pretty decent dinner no matter what they eat.
When you’re with friends, go wth what works. Feed him something easy that you know will work. In my opinion, social settings like that are tough enough on littles without adding food drama. I was lucky because mine both loved avocado. You can order half an avocado a la carte at almost any restaraunt. (If they don’t have that, they have pasta and grilled chicken.)
I still plan some meals where my side dish (macaroni and cheese) become the main dish for Mr Picky. I put a small taste of each of the other foods and tell him to pick at least ONE to eat. That gives him control (he’s a strong willed child) over his food choices. From that standpoint, offering at least one toddler option as part of the regular meal is a great transition strategy. It lets him see that he’s expected to eat with the family, but still get enough to eat.
We also do a lot of modified dishes. Hubby loves spicy foods, the kids… not so much. I put the spicy in a sauce, or season the meat two different ways for the grill.
susan recently posted..The (made up) Mom Dictionary
LOVE the idea of the muffin with PB as a backup/suppliment! I’m so stealing that one. thanks!
great post, this is an issue that plagues ALL moms. I had Anthony eat what we were eating, though he often refused some foods and only wanted others. While we had some battles, in the end he ate the foods he wanted off the plate. Now while he’s not a great eater and still has his picky moments, he knows that if he doesn’t eat he won’t get a dessert or treat later. Last night I make drumsticks and he asked me to take off the chicken after pushing it away. I gladly did and he ate a few bites of it with his french fries and ONE string bean. I hide veggies in other ways and give him a vitamin, so I know he’s getting what he needs. So sorry for the comment babe.
Karen recently posted..Cheap Organization
Thanks Karen! Sometimes it’s all about presentation right? Like chicken on or off the bone. I’d say that string bean was a victory for moms everywhere!
Thank heavens my kiddos are older and this battle is behind me! I remember one time I cooked brussel sprouts and my son ask if these were the veggies he liked.
Knowing that my answer could make or break the consumption of the vegetable forever, I said, “Yes it is!” even though he had never eaten it before.
He ate them and never looked back! Good luck!
Paula recently posted..Essentials for an Awesome Teen Hangout
I always think our attitude in presenting new foods is part of the battle. Thanks for stopping by!
Stopping by from SITS. I have 2 kids with completely different tastebuds. It’s nearly impossible to find 1 meal that everyone in the family will eat…so we just go with it and realize that at least one of the kids will NOT be happy and only eat a bit of dinner. It’s not easy, but it is what it is and I can’t spend too much time cooking too many things. Later if they’re hungry they can have a bowl of cereal with milk.
One trick that has worked for me is giving them a small, specific choice (i.e. do you want corn or green beans for your vegetable? vs. asking them more generally what vegetable do you want with dinner?)
Good luck!
Katy recently posted..Brown Braggin’
Thanks for stopping by! Cereal with milk is always a good stand by.
I’m not a parent so the only advice I can offer is what my parents did with me. I was a very picky eater and they were constantly worried about my nutrition. They decided long before my birth that they would never force food upon their kids (as in “you will sit here until you finish that last pea”), but they also weren’t financially able to make me separate meals.
So they gave me small portions and my mom would try to make it as appealing as possible. Making a sandwich often helped (I hated meat, but I would eat it as a sandwich filling), and I loved cheese so she often added some cheese to my veggies.
Funny about penne pasta… when I was little I only wanted to eat pasta with cheese.
BarefootMedStudent recently posted..Physician Inertia
Thanks for the tip!